Make Me Come Alive
by IRISHCAITYBUG
Summary: A Celtic Thunder fanfic/blurbs (mostly Emmet Cahill) based on the song "Jet Black Heart" by 5 Seconds of Summer. This story is completely made up by me. Only some of the events actually happened. The rest, well, that's just my mind at work. I really like angsty Emmet so I apologize ahead of time.
1. Feeling Numb

**_Everybody's got their demons._**

 ** _Even wide awake or dreaming._**

 ** _I'm the one who ends up leaving._**

 ** _Make it okay._**

Emmet found himself in the pub again. His life had changed so much in the span of six months and he found himself constantly turning to the only thing he could think of to take the feelings away: alcohol. He announced his departure from Celtic Thunder a little over six months ago and George's funeral was nearly two months ago, but he could feel nothing. All he could see was darkness and all he could feel was nothing.

He really didn't want to let his fans down but at the same time he really couldn't find it in him to continue with the touring life. Sharon had given him special permission to tour. Maybe being around the guys is something he needs right now.

"Wow you look like hell, Cahill," came a familiar voice from somewhere behind him. He didn't need to turn around to know he'd come face to face with those bright blue eyes he'd grown so used to seeing every day. He did anyway. Those blue eyes seemed older than they did the last time he'd seen them. They seemed duller.

"I could say the same for you, Keegan." His response was met with a sad, humorless smile.

"I guess we've all been dealing with a lot lately," Colm replied as he sat down on a barstool next to Emmet.

 _'_ _At least you can feel something,'_ the thought came before he could stop it and the words burned on his tongue and clogged up his throat, but he swallowed them back down. _'Not now. He doesn't need to deal with the extra stuff now,'_ Emmet thought to himself as he took another swig of the cold beer sitting in front of him.

"So how've you been getting on?" Colm asked after ordering his own drink. "You okay? We've all been worried about you."

Where could he even begin? Nothing is right? I can't seem to feel anything other than sadness? I don't know if I want to tour anymore, but I miss our fans? He settled for a sad smile and a simple, "I'm alright. Just really tired and really shocked by everything." Colm nodded sympathetically.

"We all feel it, Em. I know George meant a lot to you. I know you two were really close." Emmet could feel the tears welling up in his eyes so he quickly changed the subject.

"How're you getting on though? How's Laura been?"

"She's been alright. She's excited for the tours coming up. Are ya planning on coming out for one of our shows? It'd be the three of us just like old times."

 _'_ _Only it won't be will it? I'll be the odd one out.'_ Once again, Emmet shook the thoughts from his mind. This time he went for a, "Yeah I'll definitely try to make it out there for a show or two. Gotta support my old buddy, don't I?" He even attempted a smile this time.

"I knew ya couldn't resist!" Colm said with a smile. Emmet returned it, but it didn't reach his eyes. Not this time.

Eventually, Emmet knocked back the last of his beer and checked the time and saw that he and Colm had been talking for about an hour. He actually knew how long they'd been talking because he'd been exhausted since Colm showed up, but it would have been rude to leave as soon as the man got there.

"Colm, buddy, it's been great catchin' up with ye, but I gotta head home and help my mom with some stuff around the house y'know?"

"Oh yeah! Definitely! See ya in a few weeks," Colm said, standing up and leaning in to hug Emmet. "And Emmet," he said, pulling back and looking his friend in the eyes, "if you need anything please don't hesitate to call us okay?" Emmet nodded.

"Thanks, Colm. I will. See ya in a few weeks." Emmet left and Colm sat back down for another pint or two.

Emmet didn't want to go home. He didn't want to go anywhere. He didn't want to do anything. Putting on a brave face was something he just couldn't do anymore, he needed to be alone. Emmet sat in his car for a few minutes trying to figure out where to go.

Life had been a nightmare for him recently, so he decided to go see _her._ The only thing that could keep the nightmares at bay for at least a little while. If he couldn't drown himself in alcohol, he'd drown himself in her. But only for tonight. Always just a night.

He decided to pay a visit to her despite the fact that he knew he'd be gone before the sun rose in the morning. The pain he felt leaving each morning was better than the perpetual numbness he felt day in and day out. At least with her he could feel _something._


	2. Poison Cure

**See a war I wanna fight it  
See a match I wanna strike it  
Every fire I've ignited  
Faded to grey**

"Y'know that's not good for you," Emmet could practically hear the smirk in her voice and he didn't have to turn around to know that he'd see it playing across her red lips. He dropped the lighter into his shirt pocket.

"I didn't even light it yet," he sighed as he slipped the cigarette back into the box and put the box back in his back pocket.

"Who even started you on that disgusting habit?" Her blue eyes darkened with concern, or anger, Emmet couldn't decide which. She cared so much no matter how much she denied it, and all he did was use her. He knew it was wrong, but for some reason he couldn't stop. Sometimes he didn't know if he even wanted to stop. It was the only thing he had control over, but she deserved so much more.

"Hey, do you wanna maybe go grab something to eat or catch a movie or something tonight? Or some other time maybe?"

"What," she laughed, "like a date? Are you kidding?" His heart would have shattered right then and there if her laugh hadn't made it jump out of his chest. "I'm not your type, Cahill," Emmet cringed as the words he had repeated to himself many times in his head came back to bite him in the ass. "And don't think that this conversation about _those_ is over," she said as she walked back into her apartment. He shook his head and leaned his forearms against the railing of the balcony and rested his face in his hands. He tried to quell the smile that threatened to take over as he thought about her blue eyes and how they were somehow always shining.

"She's not your type, Cahill," he repeated out loud to himself. It sounded different, harsher coming from her. Everything sounded different coming from her.

 _'_ _Who even started you on that disgusting habit?'_ Her words came rushing back to his mind as he reached back into his pocket to get a cigarette.

 _'_ _I did,'_ he thought to himself as he brought the flame to the tip of the cigarette and lit it. Emmet's mind went into overdrive as he took the first puff.

 _'_ _God, what would my mom think? I've worked so hard to get where I'm at. My dad kicked my ass down the stairs to get me to those stupid auditions and this is how I repay them?_ _What would George think about all of this?'_ Emmet cringed at that last thought.

 _'_ _George is dead. He left, Emmet. You remember,'_ He had to cut the thought short before he could think back to the day he found out. That was the darkest day of his life and he wished he could forget it. He'd been trying to forget it since it happened. No matter what he tried to drown himself in, he couldn't drown the memories. He couldn't wake up from this nightmare. Emmet put out his cigarette and turned to make his way back into the apartment, but before he walked inside, he took another look at the dark night sky.

No stars tonight.

"Hey, you," she whispered to Emmet as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey," Emmet sighed as he returned the embrace.

"What's gotten into you? You seem really off tonight have I done something?" She asked as she pulled back slightly.

"I'm just stressed right now. That's all. You've done nothing wrong, I swear."

"Oh…okay well if you need your space you don't have to stay."

"No. Not at all. I'd like to stay right here if you'll let me. You're a much needed- and appreciated- distraction," Emmet smirked.

"Don't you give me that look."

"What look?" He smirked again.

"That look," she replied as she looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"Only if you stop giving me that look."

"I'm not making any promises, Cahill."

"Careful, Áine you might regret that later."

"Oh is that so?"

"Oh that's so," Emmet said before he kissed her. Áine braced herself against the wall and she tugged at his brown hair as Emmet's name tumbled from her dark red lips.

 _'_ _Oh, it's going to be a long night,'_ He smirked into the feverish kiss as the first positive thought he'd had in a while popped into his mind.


	3. The Breakdown

_But now that I'm broken  
Now that you know it  
Caught up in a moment  
Can you see inside?_

 _After searching through the entire house, Emmet finally found his phone on the floor next to his bed. He checked his phone for any new messages and, to his surprise, he saw that he had about five missed calls. Two from Keegan, one from George, one from Sharon, and one from a number he didn't recognize. Another call from Sharon started to come in just as he was about to call Colm back._

 _"_ _I'm just mister popular today," Emmet said out loud as he answered the call._

 _"_ _Hello?"_

 _"_ _Emmet? It's Sharon." Emmet could barely make out sniffles on the other line, and his heart rate sped up slightly. Maybe she was just sick._

 _"_ _Hey Sharon! What's up? Is everything alright?"_

 _"_ _Actually, Emmet," more sniffling, "no. I have something I need to tell you. It's about George." His heart sank slightly, but he refused to let his mind wander._

 _"_ _George? I saw that I missed a call from him. Are the girls okay?"_

 _"_ _Em," A pause, then, "George is….Emmet he's gone." His entire world seemed to stop and his whole body was burning up. It was like someone punched him in the gut at the same time that they lit him on fire. His own heart seemed to stop. He kind of wished it would._

 _"_ _I," Emmet breathed out, "he what?"_

 _"_ _George had a heart attack late last night and when Carolyn tried to wake him up this morning, well, he just didn't."_

 _"_ _No. No no no no no no." Emmet whispered as he used his shaking hand to steady himself against his dresser._

 _"_ _We're sorting it out with Carolyn now and trying to figure out what exactly to say to the fans and everyone, but we wanted to tell you personally." Emmet couldn't breathe. He was certain he hadn't been breathing for a good few minutes now. George is gone? How? They were together just a few days ago. This can't be real. Sharon's voice shook him out of his thoughts._

 _"_ _Em, are you still there?"_

 _"_ _Yeah," he choked out, "I'm here."_

 _"_ _Emmet I'm so sorry I know this is difficult for you. It's difficult for all of us. No matter what I say, I'm not sure I could make you feel better about this situation. Just try to stick close to your family today. Just try to relax and take it easy. But you know the drill: no tweeting about this until we figure out how to go about this. Carolyn needs to get her family affairs straight before we mention anything to the fans, but after that you can do whatever you want."_

 _"_ _Yeah. Okay." Emmet had officially checked out. All at once, his energy had been sucked out of him._

 _"_ _Emmet?"_

 _"_ _Yeah?"_

 _"_ _It's going to be alright."_

 _"_ _Okay," he replied, though he didn't believe it._

 _As soon as he hung up with Sharon, he called Colm. It was almost as if he had been waiting for Emmet's call because he picked up on the second ring._

 _"_ _Emmet! Thank God." Colm drew in a deep breath before continuing on, "We've all been trying like crazy to get ahold of you. Are you okay? Did you hear?"_

 _"_ _Colm please tell me this is a joke. This is a big practical joke and George is gonna burst out of my closet or something."_

 _"_ _Em. It's not. He's gone," Colm's choked out in a hoarse voice between sniffles._

 _"_ _Jesus Christ. I-I don't understand how-" Emmet was cut short by Colm's quick explanation._

 _"_ _He had a-"_

 _"_ _I know how it happened," Emmet snapped back before Colm could finish explaining._

 _"_ _I just thought- Okay, I'm sorry." The tears started flowing freely down Emmet's face as Colm droned on about something. He didn't know what it was, and quite frankly, he didn't care._

 _The sadness engulfed Emmet. If he had known it was the warmest hug he was going to have for a while he would have embraced it. Emmet couldn't find the strength to support himself anymore so he dropped to his knees, keeping his hand on the wall for support._

 _"_ _Colm," Emmet choked out, "I gotta go. I'll call you back later."_

 _"_ _Okay, Em. It'll be alright. We'll get through this. We always do."_

 _"_ _Yeah." Emmet tried to keep himself steady by leaning against the door, but his legs gave out and he just couldn't stand up anymore. He collapsed to the floor and sat there for the next half an hour. His mom walked in to find him sitting on his knees, doubled over with his arms wrapped around himself._

 _"_ _Emmet! Oh my Lord! What happened to you, Sweetheart?" His mom shouted as she rushed over to him._

 _"_ _He's gone. George is gone, mum. George is gone! What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?" He sobbed into her arms._

He jerked awake and tried to take in his surroundings.

 _'_ _Where am I? This isn't my bed. This isn't right. This is…This is…_ _Áine.' He thought to himself._

Her warm arms were still draped around him, but her blue eyes looked at him with concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just had a nightmare I guess."

"Was it George?" Emmet's blood ran cold at her question. The world seemed to tilt and swirl.

"What?" He snapped at her. Emmet cringed at the intensity of his voice.

"I-I…You called his name a couple of times. I just thought maybe that's what the nightmare was. I'm sorry." Her voice trailed off at the apology.

"Oh."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I jus- no. I don't."

"Okay then we won't. Let's go back to bed then."

"I think I'm gonna go. I'm sorry," he said, trying to untangle himself from her warm sheets and her warm arms. Her eyes traveled down his bare torso, but she blushed and quickly diverted her eyes before he had the chance to catch her staring.

Emmet started fumbling around for his clothes, still shaken up at the dream he just had. A million thoughts were running through his head and for some reason, he could not quite calm his shaking hands. Suddenly, Áine spoke up, interrupting his thoughts.

"Emmet, you can't keep running from this. The things you're doing. They're not helping. They're hurting you."

"This is not something I want to discuss right now!"

"Well when, Emmet? You don't ever want to discuss anything! Emmet, you're broken and you keep running away from your feelings or drinking them away or trying to smoke them out or whatever you're doing and it's not healthy!" Áine no longer had the patience to feel bad about her tone with him. He rolled his eyes at her words, and she sighed loudly. He kept pulling on his clothes as his head and heart began to fight. Everything in him knew that she was right, but it wasn't like he could just up and quit everything he was doing.

"Em," her voice broke through his thoughts once more, "you need to talk about it. It doesn't have to be me, but it needs to be someone." Emmet wanted to talk to her. He wanted to talk to her so badly, but she just wouldn't understand. He almost didn't want her to understand. The dreams that were more like nightmares. The darkness. The numbness. Someone with so much life in her eyes could never understand how he felt. Even if he wanted her to, she couldn't.

"Áine, you just…you wouldn't understand," Emmet sighed as he sat back down on the bed and buried his face in his hands. Suddenly, he felt a warm hand on his back.

"Try me," she whispered as she kissed his bare shoulder. Emmet sighed and turned to her.

The floodgates finally opened.


End file.
